Bh Talks
I’m going to be rich in Vietnamese Dongs

I’m going to be rich in Vietnamese Dongs

aztecs are fucking awesome 

You never really take into consideration how extremely flammable the inside of your pockets are

I’M ON VACATION AND THERE’S A PRIDE PARADE I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN

Eating your eggs like “Fuck, that wasn’t salt.”

Ladies and gentlemen hospital gowns and bracelets have upgraded from my last visit
The bracelets have a plastic clip with holes instead of just sticking together. Making it very easy to remove.
Woo

Welp, off to surgery
See you fucks in a few days

edit: Nevermind, came back same day

I was talking through some shit with a friend and for some reason the sentence that came out of my mouth was “Don’t worry, I’ll swag through it.”

swag

I’ll swag through it